I have been coming back to Penang for about almost a year and have seen God’s blessing and favor poured into my everyday life. Despite his good manifestation unto my life, I was not walking with Him in Penang. Lingering very far from him, I was actually lost without my knowing.
For the first month, I did attend church that I thought God placed me into. However, I found it uncomfortable after the pastor’s mum laid hand on me and tried to push me down on the floor. I couldn’t understand such action. And I was angry. Thus, since then, I stopped attending the church. And I generalized all the churches in Penang were the same as the first one that I attended. I was so wrong to think like that. I didn’t seek God for answer. I made my own judgment instead. While I was ignorantly denying all the houses of the Lord in Penang, I didn’t know such narrow thinking had grabbed a lot of wonderful God’s revelations from me.
I chose to walk my way. I chose to leave the house of the Lord. The devil was waiting for this moment and started whispering excuses to me. I was engaged in all sorts of worldly activities except God. I couldn’t believe myself, I have actually spending the first year in Penang not walking in His way. I misinterpreted the bible verses and misled by some cult knowledge. I ignored the inner voice, the Holy Spirit. I have taken his Grace for granted. I was sinning, kept sinning.
God always had a way to draw me back to him. When you fervently seek Him, he will answer you. He will know. He knows what is dear to you heart. He knows whom will influence you the most. He would used brother and sister-in-Christ to help you. He would use all means to carry you, walking across the troubled water. That’s my PERFECT MAGNIFICENT GOD!
God loves me so much. In fact, he used incidence to enlighten me that He was watching over it. He knew it that I am weak in certain aspect. And he used good and strong-minded people to sharpen me. God is a very creative God. I love Him so much. I LOVE YOU GOD!!!! Whatever mistake I made, he knew it. He knew it that I a young and wild girl would do anything, would take risk, just to do whatever she wanted.
I was at a point that I was so lost that I have lost sense of Him. I even told God that I am sad to tell You that if I was one of your apostles, I think I would be the one who betrayed you since that I couldn’t even keep your commandment..
But God told me this in Chapter Matthew21:28-31, during the last Sunday Service I attended in PCC. The pastor didn’t preach about this verses, It was my eyes landed on the paragraph and happened to read it and it became as revelation to me.
Matthew 21:28-31
“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. he went to the first and said, “Son, go and work today in the vineyard.”
“I will not,” he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing.
He answered, “I will, sir”, but he did not go.
“which of the two did what his father wanted?”
“The first,” they answered.
How endearing is my God who knows what I thought of last night and showed me how he perceived me -In his image… as his obedient child, not the one who betrays Him but the one he trusts and loves.
A good shepherd will never let go of either one of his lost sheep.. He will look for it until He finds it.
